book chat - A Year of Living Kindly

Here's one I read a few months back, but it's a perfect fit for this time of year!

A Year of Living Kindly by Donna Cameron, Published September 25th 2018 by She Writes Press

I don't give out many 5 star reviews, but this one earned it. I'd like to read this again, one chapter a week rather than all in a few sittings as I did this time around. Spreading out the chapters would give more time for thought and time to work on implementing the various suggestions. As it was, I still got a lot out of this book - truly, judging by the number of highlights! Kindness is something our world is in dire need of these days. I grew up in the Midwest US which is known for being "nice". Now, as an adult, I'm working on changing some of those "nice" tendencies to true kindness. Learning to pause before we respond (I'm especially looking at you, social media), trying to assume the best of people rather than the worst and being more aware of what's going on around us so we can see opportunities to show kindness are main themes here. Most of the book focuses on kindness toward other humans, but I was happy to see a chapter included near the end regarding showing kindness to animals and the earth. The quarterly reviews are a nice touch as well. Each looks back at topics covered in the preceding 3 months of entries. I would definitely recommend this book!

Thank you to NetGalley and She Writes Press for the opportunity to read and review this thought-provoking book! All comments are my own, unbiased opinion. 

book chat - money, money, money

Happy New Year! As promised, here are the two books that changed how I deal with my money. 

Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin, originally Published September 1st 1992 by Viking Press (there have been a couple updates since)

I've been budgeting in a real way for a few years now - using Dave Ramsey's baby steps (from the book below) to get out of debt, save up an emergency fund and know where my money is going. So, I already spend less than I make, regularly save and put money away for retirement. And I've broken out of the habit of working myself to death, instead valuing my time more than earning more money. So why read this book? To take a more in depth look at where my money is still going and whether or not I need to make more changes. Dave focuses more on cutting costs, while this book may have you actually increasing spending in certain areas while cutting back on others. Sure, I stay within my budget each month, but I'm still buying things I don't need (as evidenced by my current decluttering and the amount of stuff I'm happily donating). Asking myself the three questions suggested of each purchase will help me determine before I buy if the purchase aligns with my values, my future plans and if I'm getting the satisfaction/value commensurate with my life energy cost. With a new month looming, I'll be doing some extra tracking and paying more attention why and on what I'm spending. I'm already thinking differently about some of my regular purchases... The ultimate goal of course being financial independence. Who doesn't want working for money to be optional?

The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey, Published February 1st 2007 by Nelson Books (first published 2003) 

Excellent, old-fashioned money advice. Set a budget, spend less than you make, save for emergencies/retirement, don't go into debt. Simple, right? But so many of us don't follow this advice and need a reminder. =) This plan really does work if you follow it!

Both of these books have been around for a good long while (for good reason). Both have been updated in recent years. If, however, you are looking to keep costs down, check your local library! Or look for a secondhand copy in a local store or online. While the older versions won't have the updates, the basics haven't changed.

book chat - Bad with Money

Happy New Year! Almost. Okay, how many of you have some sort of monetary goals in your new year's resolutions? You're not alone! While you're working away at your own money issues, how about a fun book about someone else figuring this stuff out?

Bad with Money by Gaby Dunn, Expected publication: January 1st 2019 by Atria Books

Wow. So, Gaby is Bad with Money. This book is more memoir than how to so if you're looking for a straightforward how to get out of debt or how to handle money book, this isn't the best choice. There are financial tips throughout, but they are connected to lessons she's learned and not set up as a straight how to. If, on the other hand, you're looking for a funny, honest memoir about money troubles and learning how to not be bad with money, this is your book. Gaby writes with honesty and humor about her past monetary foibles and complete lack of financial knowledge and I know there are those who will greatly identify with her. My first roommate would simply stop writing down the checks she wrote in her checking account ledger when she was getting close to $0. Not stop spending... just stopped writing it down. Yeah, sure, that's how that works. I made plenty of my own mistakes with money over the years. At this point, in my mid-40s, I've learned to budget and my only debt is my mortgage which I've happily gotten paid down by nearly half over the past 5 years (I'm so looking forward to the day I make that last payment!). But it's been a journey rewriting the money scripts I learned growing up. Throughout the book, she tells not only her own story, but inserts what she's learned from interviewing experts and talking to friends and family along the way. Don't keep waiting, hoping for some windfall to save the day and fix all your money problems, get on a budget. 

This book would be especially useful to a younger person - teens and 20s - as a warning what not to do and how to get a good start on handling money. I would also recommend checking out her podcast, also titled Bad with Money. I've started from the beginning and am really enjoying the interviews she does with experts and people in her life talking about money.

Thank you to Atria Books and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for my honest review.

If instead, you're looking for a more straightforward book on budgeting and getting your money straight, check back tomorrow and I'll share the two that changed how I looked at and dealt with my own money.

book chat - Total Cat Mojo

Olive and Oscar enjoying one of their favorite scent soaker/cat tv spots

Yes, yes, I actually shared this book earlier this month in the cat-related book post. I hadn't actually read it yet, but I was sure it would be a winner. Was I wrong? Nope! This is definitely my favorite Jackson Galaxy book to date! 

Total Cat Mojo by Jackson Galaxy, Published February 20th 2018 by Blackstone Audio, Inc.

I don't buy many books these days. I borrowed this one in audiobook form from my library... I'll be buying myself a copy to keep and refer back to often! 

This book truly is a comprehensive manual for happy cats. Are you considering adopting your first cat? Adding a cat to your home with other resident cats or dogs? Have a kitty who seems to lash out at you or other humans or animals for no reason? Are you finding "accidents" in places you'd rather not? Does your cat seem bored? Scared? Do you have a door dasher? (I do!) Do you want to be the best guardian you can possibly be for your cat? Did you answer yes to <i>any</i> of these questions? This is the book for you!

In these pages, Jackson addresses all of these "issues" and more. I seriously wish we could hand out a copy of this book along with every kitty adopted at the shelter I volunteer with. Or better yet, make it required reading pre-adoption! We can't do that, but I'll certainly be recommending it to everyone. If you have (or want) a cat in your life, read this book!

Olive and Reilly sharing a nap

book chat - Dear Bob and Sue Seasons 1 & 2 and Dories Ho!

I love a good travel book and these written by Matt and Karen Smith did not disappoint. Proof that one doesn't need to travel to a distant locale to find adventure and beauty.

Dear Bob and Sue, Published November 1st 2012

I really enjoyed this account of an empty-nester couple traveling to all 59 National Parks! (Originally, it was 58, but one more NP was added after initial publication - the audiobook includes the 59th.) The couple seems to have ample means since they quit their jobs and their trips included a lot of flights, hotel stays and rental cars so this aspect may not be incredibly relatable to many, however, the stories along the way are mostly entertaining and informative. If you're looking for stories of camping in the parks or leisurely enjoying nature, this isn't the book for you. This isn't the most "outdoorsy" couple - she avoids peeing in the woods, they stay in hotels at each park. They do a lot of hiking though at times they seem to be rushing through - in part this seems to be due to their competitive nature. Still, I enjoyed the stories and got plenty of chuckles from the book. I've already requested my library purchase the second book, Dear Bob and Sue: Season 2.

Dories, Ho!, Published October 15th 2017

Ahh, this recounting of Matt and Karen Smith's adventure floating down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon makes me want to book a trip! The Grand Canyon has always been one of my favorite national parks, but I've never been to the bottom. I need to fix that someday... For now, I was happy to go along with this couple and their friends.

Dear Bob and Sue Season 2, Published July 1st 2018 by Matt Smith

The second season is nearly as good as the first. I could have done without all the animal pelt talk, but well worth a read or listen!

I'm always looking for new travel books. What are your favorites? 

book chat - Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now

Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now by Jaron Lanier, Published May 29th 2018 by Henry Holt and Co.

This book is about how to be a cat. How can you remain autonomous in a world where you are under constant surveillance and are constantly prodded by algorithms run by some of the richest corporations in history, which have no way of making money except by being paid to manipulate your behavior? How can you be a cat, despite that? P2

Ah, now I understand the kitty silhouette on the cover. This book is about disconnecting from apps and websites that control our experience so we can relearn to think for ourselves. We should be thinking independently like cats, rather than as a pack like dogs.

GO WHERE YOU ARE KINDEST
If, when you participate in online platforms, you notice a nasty thing inside yourself, an insecurity, a sense of low self-esteem, a yearning to lash out, to swat someone down, then leave that platform. Simple. P51

Always a good reminder. Take a step back, examine how using X platform makes you feel. Do you feel better after using it? Sad? Annoyed?

The version of the world you are seeing is invisible to the people who misunderstand you, and vice versa. P79
What's really going on is that we see less than ever before of what others are seeing, so we have less opportunity to understand each other. P80

What we are shown is driven by algorithms and we don't all see the same the things so we don't experience the world in the same way anymore. We've lost that shared experience. It's no wonder we all seem a bit off to each other. We just aren't living in the same world anymore thanks to all the filters and personalized feeds controlling what we're exposed to so much of the time.

If ordinary people were to get all happy and satisfied, they might take a moment away from the obsession with social media numbers and go frolic in the flowers or even pay direct attention to each other. But if they're all on edge about whether they're popular enough, worried about whether the world is imploding, or furious at morons who are thrust into the middle of their connections with friends and families, then they dare not disengage. They are hooked because of provoked natural vigilance. P91

I used to be much more connected through social media than I am today. Toward the end of when I was vlogging, I chose to hide all the "data". Viewers no longer saw the number of views or likes/dislikes. If I could have hidden that information from myself, I would have! I didn't like how those numbers made me feel - positive or negative. I didn't want what I shared or how I shared it to be influenced by the numbers in any way. I no longer vlog or podcast but I am still on social media. I quit Facebook years ago, but I'm still on Instagram (owned by FB). I hate what they've done to it - not just the ads (I do HATE the ads), but using algorithms to mess with our feed's timeline. I don't follow as many accounts there these days and mostly only log into my cat's account. Yes, I'm one of those. My cat has his own account. =) Those I follow with his account create feeds that makes me happy. I'm not trying to make him into an internet star, just hoping his photos and videos bring a few smiles and chuckles to those who see them. My personal one? I barely use it these days and when I do, I just feel so disconnected.

This book is a call to take back our lives and think for ourselves. Does the author say the internet is evil? No. But we need to learn to use it to better our lives and not let apps and devices replace real life.

Olive agrees, we should all think like cats =^..^=

book chat - Do Not Disturb

#DoNotDisturb by Jedediah Bila, Published October 9th 2018 by Harper


In general, we are all way too attached to our devices these days. I really enjoyed Bila's book, chronicling how she was able to break her addiction to her phone and other devices and sharing how these devices are changing how we behave and how our brains work. After she discussed a couple of documentaries about a popular online roll playing game, Second Life, I watched one of them... Pretty sure I had a horrified look on my face the entire time. Soooo creepy. I fully enjoyed the introduction where Bila wrote a scene for Marty McFly visiting 2017. It really is crazy how we can be with others and still feel the need to constantly check social media and have other conversations. Instead of fearing what we may be missing out on, we should be enjoying what we're actually a part of. I haven't been on Facebook in a few years now because I didn't feel it was a particularly positive experience for me. The only real draw for me these days is Instagram. I'm careful though about how accounts I follow affect me and will unfollow if I feel they are affecting me in a negative way. 

"... it is you who decides how many hours of the day you are on your phone. It is you who decides if you value a real life over a virtual one. You are in charge of you." (p226)

Technology can add to our lives, but we must be aware of our attachment to it and be sure it's not replacing real life interactions. Are companies working hard to draw us into their tech and keep us there? Absolutely! But ultimately, it's our personal responsibility to set limits for ourselves and regain our real lives.